Picture this:

I am in Marks and Spencers or Debenhams or House of Fraser or John Lewis, (I cannot decipher in my head which generic department store is the one in question) and I walk up to Sally Shepherd. Everyone in the shop is buying alcohol, or exchanging money with older people to get them alcohol, for it was an alcohol-fueled evening (like st Patrick's day or something). I then proceed to walk up to Sally and say: "Can you get me some alcohol with this handful of change?" So, naturally, being 18 and everything, she says "That should be fine" so she queues up and I go to find some alcohol. So as i am looking, as quick as I can, for alcohol so I can report back to Sally, Sally reappears and she and I start looking through all the shelves in order to exchange money and alcohol with Sarah Peck (who was up on the next floor). So we look through some interestingly flavoured ciders, and suddenly Sally is over the other side of the shop, saying "Chris, over here!" so I run over, and she is presenting me with a shelf containing bleach, shampoo, fairy liquid and all sorts of bottled delights. So naturally I tell her I am looking for alcohol, not household products, so we leave this aisle. So, obviously,Sarah and I are on the next floor waiting to buy alcohol all of a sudden, and Sarah gets turned down for looking too much like a dog (the breed of which I can't remember, it was a terrier of some description). I then ask a goth (who I had previously seen only once in my life) to serve me, and, being a goth, she just screams in my face really loudly (she was wearing pink).

So I leave the shop and Seb and Ollie and Fulham come running up with plastic carrier bags flailing behind them and one of them says "look what we've got" and they show me that the carrier bags actually contain countless bottles of orange squash. So i retort "wow, orange squash" in a dry, sarcastic tone to which seb resonds, "yes, but this one (he shows me a bottle of orange liquid, which i can only assume was orange squash like the others) is pure vodka!" and they run off!

So the next thing i know i am in Tesco, but the checkouts are in the middle of the shop and I was picking up my goods from right next to a shelf which had walkers multi-packs on. So I start to get confident whilst lining up with my bottle of the good stuff, and the guy serves me without even looking at me! So I pay him my £5, get my change, and walk off exclaiming "YES I got served!" whilst displaying my 2 litre bottle of Pepsi.

So I arrive at this café (I can only assume i apparated) and I gloat at getting served to the inhabitants and then James, Helen and I decide to go to the loo (the closest one being by park street). We arrive at College Green and the library is closed, and so is the cathedral! Forgetting that we could go at the back of the cathedral, I say "it doesn't matter cause there is another cathedral just there" and, yes, there was a second cathedral right next to the original one and this was locked too, but that didn't seem to bother us, and we just went at the back of that one. Anyway, I am suddenly quite drunk on my Pepsi and I start making my way up Park Street which was a bit more like a stereotypical Vegas high street than usual, leaving James and Helen to head towards the centre from College Green, but they then turn off left into this void which I swear never existed before.

I am now walking along this road which is obviously near Jenni's house and my dad, in his blue car, decides to race me there. So I run up some road which never existed before, but that doesn't deter me and I go down another strange road, and suddenly I am not racing my dad anymore; he is erased from space and time entirely, and I keep running down the road which really looks like a street I've seen on the TV, which was, naturally, Jenni's road, and I keep running, right on past her house! I look at a house, and I think "oh balls that's number 76!" So I run back up the other way and I walk up to the front door of number 59. I walk in the front and I am suddenly walking in through her back door. I hear the kettle and the clinking of a spoon against a mug from what would usually be Jenni's back room, and I think "Oh, Jenni's in the kitchen." I therefore go into the kitchen (ie; back room) and knock on the door and walk in. Jenni looks at me, being paler than usual, and says "Oh you're a bit drunk aren't you!" I kiss her and garlic is involved somehow. Then we walk to the front room however we walk out of the back room and turn left, which I I had previously known to be the stairs, but I was wrong. We enter the front room which resembles the front room of my best friend from junior school, Jeff. I lie on the sofa and Jenni sits on the armchair. Jenni says something about something 'being awkward' and then I fall asleep.

Curious......